


Man Flu

by SuperNebula (FanWorks)



Category: Hannibal (TV), Hannibal Lecter Series - All Media Types
Genre: Accidental Drug Use, Drugs, Flu, Fluff, M/M, Minor Illness, hannibal's a giant drama queen, man flu, strip club
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-19 00:42:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7337695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanWorks/pseuds/SuperNebula
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hannibal has the man flu and Will takes care of the drama queen, but when he takes matters into his own hands, nothing turns out the way he wanted. Well most things…</p>
            </blockquote>





	Man Flu

“Urghh, Will, I’m going to die!” moaned Hannibal as he rolled about in the king sized bed.

“You are not going to die, Hannibal.” Will replied annoyed, walking over to place a damp cloth on his forehead. Will stuck a thermometer in his mouth.

“Haw du yuo knou?”

“You have the flu Hannibal. It is nothing serious.” He pulled the thermometer out of Hannibal’s mouth and read the temperature, 37oC, “Hannibal, you’re only running a low fever.”

“Urrrgh” Hannibal moaned again. “I’m going to die! Will, you have to get my lawyer; I have to change my Will!” Hannibal burst out into a fit of giggles, “Ha! I have to change my Will! Get it? Coz you’re Will and I have to change you. Ha-ha.”

“Yeah, it’s hilarious, Hannibal.” Will rolled his eyes; he’s been taking care of Hannibal for three days now, he’s had to make chicken soup, help him to the bathroom, change his clothes, sponge bath him, hand feed him, fetch more blankets, buy medicine, cancel his appointments, call a doctor, go shopping for the finest ingredients. And Hannibal even makes Will take him out into the kitchen so he can tell him how to make the most complicated of dishes.

It’s not like Will minds doing any of it, it’s just, he’s being worked to the bone here; while Hannibal limps, and complains, and sniffles, and coughs, and moans, and groans, and exclaims he’s going to die. Will works his butt of to appease his adorable-idiot. Hannibal has the flu. Not even a bad flu, just ordinary flu; mild fever, muscle soreness, coughing, runny nose, sore throat, headaches and fatigue. He’ll be over it in a week, and he thinks it’s the end of the world. Hannibal has always been a drama queen with a flair for the dramatic, and expensive, but come on; Hannibal has come down with a **_serious_** case of the ‘man-flu’.

**_Man flu:_ ** _a cold or similar minor ailment as experienced by a man who is regarded as exaggerating the severity of the symptoms._

“Will! Please I’m begging you; please you have to get my lawyer before it’s too late!” Hannibal exclaimed reaching out and grabbing Will’s arm.

"You're not going to die Hannibal" Will rolled his eyes as he pulled his hand away from Hannibal's strong grip.

"No, Will, I am, I can feel death’s cold embrace! NO! I’m not ready to go!" Hannibal shouted at the air gesturing to an empty corner of the room. "No! Don’t take me! No, Will, don't let him take me!!” Hannibal pulled the covers up over his head and hid from the being. Will looked around the room.

“There’s no one here Hannibal.”

“It’s the Grim Reaper, he’s come to take my soul; he’s going to take me to hell.” Hannibal coughed heartily and wheezed until he ran out of breath.

“You need to rest” Will said handing him a bowl of chicken soup and a spoon “here eat this and go to sleep.” Hannibal took up the soup and put a spoon of it into his mouth and visibly cringed, Will noticed. “Don’t you like it?”

“No, I love it.” Hannibal replied trying to hide his obvious distaste. “Did you make it yourself?”

“No I bought it.”

“WHAT?!” Hannibal shouted and threw the bowl as far as he could; it smashed on the wall opposite the bed and spilled on the carpet below. “You bought it!?”

“What’s wrong with buying chicken soup Hannibal?” Will asked in defence as he went over to clean up the mess his needy boyfriend just made.

“Everything.” Hannibal started as he stood and dusted off his designer silk pyjamas. “Store bought food is horrible; it’s unhealthy and it contains so many preservatives it isn’t even food anymore. It’s something Zeller and Price couldn’t even cook up in their lab if they had all the chemicals in the world!” 

“Hannibal, eating it once isn’t going to kill you.”

“Maybe not, but it Will kill my principles, it Will kill everything I stand for.” Hannibal coughed and laid back down in his bed. “Now make me some soup. Not that store bought crap. I should have a recipe in the kitchen.”  Will stopped cleaning and left the room to make soup.

 _‘God, Hannibal could be an ass sometimes’_ he thought to himself. Will sighed, he would just make him some soup and then Hannibal would sleep and he could finally get some time to himself.

Will wasn’t the best at cooking, but he wasn’t the worst either; he could follow a simple recipe, but the recipes Hannibal had, were far from simple. He began searching through Hannibal’s recipes and eventually found one for chicken soup, he thought. What made it worse, was the fact that Will had no idea what the damn things said; when he looked at the carefully hand written cards that were in Hannibal’s recipe case all he saw were swirls and curls and squashed bowling pins that looped together to form complex but fascinating illusions. The more he stared at the beautiful calligraphy, the more he was drawn into its complexity, and the more it pissed him off. He stared at the stupid card for almost half an hour trying to decipher a single word; he hadn’t even started making the soup. 

He vaguely believed that the card said _**Breast chicken soup**_ ; or it might have said _**Bresse chicken terrine**_ , but it made no difference to him, he had no idea what it meant.

 “DON’T FORGET TO SHAVE THE GARLIC INSTEAD OF CRUSHING IT!” Will heard Hannibal call from the bedroom, he sighed frustratingly to himself.

“I KNOW HANNIBAL!” Will lied, he didn’t know, he didn’t even know what was in the soup, well at least he now knew that there was garlic in it.  

“AND MAKE SURE YOU DON’T LET THE HERBS BOIL FOR TOO LONG OR THEY WILL GO SOGGY!”

“HANNIBAL, IT’S A SOUP, IT’S MEANT TO BE SOGGY! NOW GOT BACK TO BED!” He called at his controlling Boyfriend. Will had had enough of his drama queen’s shit. He had worked for him all week long: Will make me soup, Will dress me, Will call my lawyer, Will call me a doctor, Will cancel my appointments, Will bathe me, Will… Will… Will had had enough. He couldn’t make soup, he couldn’t even understand what the recipe said, and so he put it back in the case and pulled out the left-over store bought soup from the refrigerator. He just wouldn’t tell Hannibal it came from the store this time, he wouldn’t tell the difference. Oh, who was he kidding, of course Hannibal Lector would tell the difference! He’s a pretentious know it all, and he always had been, Will couldn’t trick Hannibal even if he was drunk out of his mind. All of a sudden Will had an ingenious idea. He smirked to himself, he would put sleeping pills in his soup, and then he couldn’t argue, and Will could **_finally_** get some time to himself.

Will pulled out a bowl, poured some soup into it and placed it into the microwave. As it was heating he had time to sneak into Hannibal’s office and go through his drawers. He looked around the huge open room and his eyes fell on Hannibal’s large desk in the middle of the room. Will glided over to it, sat down in his chair and began rummaging through Hannibal’s belongings he searched for about 5 minutes before he came to the right bottom drawer that was locked. He wiggled the locked drawer for a moment and quickly glanced over the desk for a key, he didn’t expect to find one, Hannibal was rarely that careless. But, by some freak twist of fate there it was; a shimmering silver key just lying there on top of Hannibal’s notebook and in amongst his drawings. He picked it up and quickly unlocked the compartment, in which he found several bottles of unlabelled pills. He whispered praise to himself as he took out two of the vials, poured out a handful of tablets into his palm and walked back into the kitchen.

“Hannibal, I’ve made you some chicken soup.” Will chimed walking down the hall and into his bedroom.

“Finally, I was starting to worry you had drowned in it.”

“Tch.” Will rolled his eyes and handed the soup to him “Just eat it. It’s the best I can do.” Will handed the soup to Hannibal and his hand slightly trembled.

“What’s wrong?” Hannibal asked taking the soup from Will.

“Nothing… I just…” Will paused and looked away “hope you like it, it’s really the best I can do.” Hannibal looked down to the soup and took a huge spoonful.

“It’s delicious!” Hannibal exclaimed “Will, thank you, I love it.” He continued, hiding his displeasure beneath his love for Will.

Will took a relieved sigh. “I’m glad you like it.” Will watched as Hannibal ate every last drop.

“I don’t feel soo gooo- good.” Hannibal slurred as the drugs kicked in and he became drowsy.

“You just need some rest, Hannibal, just go to sleep” Will whispered softly as Hannibal closed his eyes. Will pulled the covers up over his big baby and tucked him into bed. He was finally free.

Will had so much energy he ran straight out of the room and left a sleeping Hannibal in bed. Will picked up the phone and called Beverly, his best friend, the only one that really understood him. He seriously needed to get drunk and have a good time.

“Hey, Beverly, it’s Will, I need a drink.”

“Oh that’s great, I know this new bar in town, I think you’ll **_love_ ** it.”

“Cool lets go.”

“Pick you up in 5 minutes.”

***

Will and Beverly pulled up in their silver Hilux, Will looked around, he saw a bar that he hadn’t recognised before called ‘The Stag’. It looked new and fun and he couldn’t wait to go inside and drink. Will opened the car door and almost fell out onto the cold concrete below.

“What’s wrong?” Asked Beverly, noticing how jittery and eager Will was.

“Nothing. Let’s just get a drink” they walked inside and Will was hit with the smell of stale sweat and alcohol. The music pounded in his head and bright coloured lights flashed around him and made him feel dizzy. He looked around, expecting to see an ordinary bar, young people jumping up and down leaning on each other, passed out on the bar, the sweet smell of liquor and worries. But as he did, he realised: this was _not an ordinary bar!_ His mouth dropped open and he froze as he frantically glanced around the room.

“What’s wrong, Will? I thought you wanted a drink.” Beverly smirked knowingly.

“I-I- I’m not thirsty anymore.” Will turned around and went to leave but Beverly grabbed his arm and dragged him back in. She dragged Will straight up to the bar and sat him down. Will looked down, his face was a red as a tomato and he refused to speak or even look at anything. Beverly stared up at the stage and smirked deviously.

“This is what you get when you let me choose the bar.” All the girls around started cheering as the men on the stage began dancing simultaneously and ripped off their firemen costumes. Surrounded by screaming women; Will was the only man in the male strip club.

“I hate you.” Will whimpered at Beverly. “Let’s just go.” Beverly grabbed his arm again and sat him back down, the shirtless bartender came over to them and leaned down on the bar. Will could see his hot, chiselled abs from where he was looking down at the ground and he could literally feel the heat radiating from him. Beverly smiled at him.

“Is he okay?” The bartender asked gesturing to Will, his voice was gruff and certainly masculine; Beverly giggled and kicked Will in the shin.

“He’s just shy.” Will jumped slightly and looked up, his face was a deep purple.

“Well I know just the thing for you sir.” Flirted the muscular slab of human, Will didn’t even know someone could have that much muscle. He leaned down behind the bar and got some shot glasses and filled them up with some cheap vodka. Will couldn’t take his eyes off him the whole time. “Here you are.” Will picked up the glass and gulped it down, the hot liquid burned his throat as it went down, but Will felt instantly better, but he still couldn’t speak.

“Thank you so much” Beverly gave him money and ordered a drink herself, they walked over to a table by the stage, the music played loudly and the half-naked men continued to dance on the stage. Will finally got the lump in his throat unstuck.

“I’m not gay.” He whispered almost unsurely to Beverly. Because even though Hannibal and Will had been together for several months, no one knew about it. In fact, he was sure that everyone thought he was straight. But apparently not.

Beverly laughed hard, “Ah ha Ha, Will, do you really think I’m that stupid? You and Hannibal have been staring at each other with googley eyes for months!” Will blushed even more and looked away. “So when you called and said you needed a drink, I figured you guys had broken up and you needed to get drunk and stare at naked men!” Will laughed.

“Ha-Hannibal and I are...” Will stuttered nervously and loosened his collar “still… together.”

“Ha! I knew it! I knew you two were sleeping together! Have you ever done it in his kitchen?”

“Beverly!” Will whispered viciously looking around the club to see if anyone had heard.

“Okay” Beverly raised her hands in defeat. “I bet Hannibal would never let his sanctuary be contaminated, anyway.” Will laughed; it was true. “So why did you sound so desperate on the phone? Is Hannibal not what you were hoping for?” Will’s face turned a deep shade of purple and he looked down at his shoes.

“No. It’s just-” he paused and sighed “He’s a huge fucking Drama Queen and sometimes I get sick of it.” Beverly laughed hard and gestured for a waiter to come over to them; a different muscular man with dark hair and eyes approached and Beverly ordered some more drinks.

“Trouble in paradise ay?” Bev nudged Will in the ribs and winked at him before lifting her glass to her lips and taking a drink.

Will sighed. “Beverly, I drugged him.”

“PFFSSSFFST” She spat out her drink into Will’s face. She sat with her jaw hanging low; eyes wide with surprise. And then she burst out in a fit of laughter. She hit the table with her hand and gripped her stomach. She looked like some kind of hysterical manic with a death wish. Tears welled up in Beverly’s eyes as she fell onto the carpeted floor and continued to laugh. “Oh my god Will! You just drugged your killer boyfriend to come to a male strip club!!” She laughed out after a long while.

“SSHHHH Beverly!” Will looked around the room, people were staring at them. “You’re gonna get me in trouble!”

“I’m gonna get you in trouble? You just drugged a serial killer! Don’t you think that’s just the slightest bit rude?!” she burst out laughing again. Will sighed. She was right; it was rude, he was a downright ass to Hannibal while he was sick. Hannibal would never do that to him. Hannibal would never drug him just to get him to shut up and go out to a male strip club. Hannibal was always courteous.

“I’m going home, Bev.” She continued to laugh on the floor, yep she was drunk. It wasn’t even that funny. Will walked away before Beverly could drag him back. He stepped outside; it was a warm evening, the stars were shining brightly and Will couldn’t help but have a smile on his face. But maybe it was just the booze talking.

He was too drunk to drive, he knew it. He could feel it. So he decided to walk, it wasn’t that far away from Hannibal’s house, where he had left the sleeping baby. It was 20 minutes tops, but on the warm, beautiful evening, Will was slightly disappointed he couldn’t spend it with Hannibal.

***

Will walked up to the two story mansion where he had left Hannibal, but something was wrong; he could sense it. Will jogged up to the open front door, he swore that he closed it before he left, and ran inside.

“Hannibal?” Will called. “Hannibal are you awake?” Will was sure he had given him enough sleeping pills to put down an elephant, surely he wasn’t awake already. Oh my god, what if he was awake? He would be so pissed at Will for drugging him! “I’m so dead.” Will whispered to himself. Will walked through the house and straight to the bedroom where he had left Hannibal and sure enough, he was gone. “Oh shit.” He whispered.

“Hannibal, I’m sorry! I was a jerk, please don’t eat me!” Will called throughout the house. But there was no reply. Will searched every room and found nothing, nobody was there, and nothing was missing, except Hannibal. Will walked into the back garden and there Hannibal was, standing with a toothbrush in his hand, looking up at the stars…

…Stark naked. Will took the time to admire the sight, he took in the formed back and buttocks; he looked over his boyfriend’s broad, strong shoulders. He could imagine how his rough skin would feel under the light of the summer moon. He was sure Hannibal would turn around at any moment and yell at him, so he just stood there, waiting for it. But Hannibal never turned around.

“Hannibal, I’m sorry.” Will took a few steps closer and touched Hannibal’s shoulder apologetically. Hannibal spun around in a flash.

“Willyyyy!” Hannibal called as he wrapped his arms around Will trapping him in a bear hug. Suddenly Will’s feet lifted off the ground and Hannibal spun him around like a rag doll.

“Hannibal put me down!” Hannibal continued to hold Will, he felt like he was going to be sick and he had no idea what was going on. Hannibal had never acted so strangely. “Hannib-aaaaah” They came crashing down onto the grass. Will’s head spun, he could see little white lights in the corners of his eyes. He couldn’t tell if it was because he hit his head or he was drunk.

“Oh! Why is your face green Will?” Hannibal slurred picking up Will’s hand and staring at it intensely. “You need doctor!!” He picked up his toothbrush that he had dropped onto the ground in the struggle and put it to Will’s clothed chest. Hannibal tried to listen to Will’s heartbeat through his toothbrush.

“Hannibal, that’s a toothbrush not a stethoscope.” Will informed. Hannibal giggled and stared at his face.

“Your lipps are sooooo funny!” He pinched Will’s bottom lip and moved it up and down with his fingers while he spoke “I’m Willyy! Willyy loves Hannibal!” Hannibal was now laying on top of Will; naked. Will was scared; Will was confused; but mostly, Will was aroused. He stared at Hannibal’s eyes; they were strangely different, bigger somehow.

And then it clicked. Hannibal’s pupils were **huge**. He gave him unmarked pills; he just assumed they were sleeping pills. What else could they be, right? Well turns out they were top notch hallucinogens; really strong stuff. Hannibal was as high as a fucking kite. And it was all his fault.

Will groaned, he better fucking hope Hannibal didn’t remember any of this tomorrow morning.

“Wat’s wong?” Hannibal giggled.

“You’re high.” Hannibal threw his arms around Will and held on to him. Will could feel Hannibal’s… ahem… pressing against his upper thigh. “What are you doing?” Will questioned.

“Making sure you don’t fall.” Hannibal answered. Will choked up, it was sweet; probably the sweetest thing Hannibal had ever said to Will, he wasn’t a very affectionate person normally. Suddenly, Hannibal shot up onto his knees, he grabbed Will’s shirt and ripped it open. The buttons popped and flew all over the garden. Hannibal put his toothbrush to Will’s bear chest and tried to listen to his heart.

“I can’t hear your heart! You must be dead!”

“Hannibal, I’m fine. What are you--” Hannibal pressed his lips to Will’s. It was an unexpected, sloppy kiss, Will closed his eyes and let Hannibal’s tongue seek out his. Then Hannibal blew a breath full of air forcefully into Will’s lungs. He coughed as Hannibal pulled away and placed his hands on Will’s chest. Hannibal started to press down really hard and he realised what he was doing. Will pushed Hannibal off him and stood up. “Hannibal, I don’t need CPR. I’m not dead. Why don’t you come inside and you can put some clothes on.” Will was seriously aroused at this point. But he endeavoured to ignore his… problem... and solve Hannibal’s instead. Because that’s what nice boyfriends do.

“I don’t wanna!” Hannibal pounded his fists on the ground like a child. Will took off his hall ripped shirt, the night was warm, and he didn’t need it anyway. Hannibal stared at Will’s chest for an uncomfortable amount of time before he stood up and pinched Will’s nipple.

“Hey!” Will stepped back and covered his nipples with his hands. That was it. Will was hard. Damn hard. He shifted his weight from foot to foot while he tried to figure out what to do with his…situation. Hannibal closed the distance between them and covered Will’s mouth with his own. Will melted. He was **_not_** going to last long. But he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t have sex with Hannibal while he was like _that._ No way. There is a line and Will was drawing it here. So he mustered up all his courage and pulled away from Hannibal.

Hannibal grew frustrated and leaned into Will again. Will took tree steps back. “Hannibal, you’re high, just let me put you to bed.”

Hannibal frowned. “No.” He stepped closer to Will. Will put out his hand to hold him back, but it was futile against Hannibal’s stronger, larger form. The only thing he could do was run. So he did. Will turned around quickly and ran around the side of the house. Hannibal chased after him. Will shirtless and Hannibal naked.

They ran to the front of the house, Will stopped running. What the heck was he doing? He was seriously stimulated and he couldn’t run. He couldn’t think. It was taking everything he had to keep Hannibal off him. And judging by Hannibal’s…package…it wasn’t going to last long. Hannibal always got his way. Hannibal ran up to Will and nearly tackled him to the ground, they landed on a soft patch of grass next to the driveway. Hannibal was on top of Will and he pressed his lips to his for the third time that night. This time Will accepted gracefully.

***

Will stirred to some noise that sort of sounded like a person talking. He opened his eyes and saw a tree directly above him. It was bright and a little chilly, but thankfully there was something next to him warming him up. As his eyes adjusted to the light, he realised his problem. He was naked. The warm thing next to him was Hannibal; also naked. They were laying on the front lawn of Hannibal’s house and the person that was talking was Jack Crawford. He grinned at them cheekily.

“Time to get up sleepy heads. We have a case!”

**Author's Note:**

> Written for my major Hannigram shipper friend ;)


End file.
